Five Minute Matrix
by Trinn
Summary: It's The Matrix in five minutes! (Or less, depending on your reading speed!)


---  
  
"Five Minute Matrix"  
  
By Trinn  
  
---  
  
MORPHEUS: Hey Neo! Guess what! The world is fake!  
  
NEO: Oh no!  
  
MORPHEUS: Also, you are supposed to save the world!  
  
NEO: Right.  
  
TRINITY: Let's go see the Oracle!  
  
ORACLE: Hi Neo! Want some cookies? You're not the One, by the way, and Morpheus is going to die!  
  
NEO: Sorry about your vase!  
  
ORACLE: You're cute, but a bit slow. Bye now!  
  
MORPHEUS: Let's go back.  
  
NEO: Black cat! Black cat!  
  
TRINITY: Déjà vu? Oh no!  
  
MOUSE: Aggggggh! I'm dead!  
  
MORPHEUS: Run Neo! I'm going to sacrifice myself for you!  
  
NEO: No! Don't do that! The Oracle said --  
  
TRINITY: Never mind that now! Leave him!  
  
SWITCH: The phone is ringing! Pick it up!  
  
TRINITY: Okay.  
  
CYPHER'S VOICE: Hiya Trinity! I'm going to kill Apoc now!  
  
APOC: Ack!  
  
CYPHER'S VOICE: And now for Switch.  
  
SWITCH: No! Not like thi--  
  
CYPHER'S VOICE: Now I will kill Neo, as long as no one is sneaking up behind me with a gun!  
  
TANK (sneaking up behind with a gun): Die fiend!  
  
CYPHER: Aaaaaaa!  
  
TANK'S VOICE: Operator, ready to take you and Neo back.  
  
TRINITY: We're back!  
  
NEO: I'm going in again.  
  
TRINITY: Why?  
  
NEO: To save Morpheus, of course!  
  
TRINITY: But he sacrificed himself to save you! And if you sacrifice yourself to save him, he wouldn't be too happy!  
  
NEO: Yes, but I'm not the One you see. I'm quite expendable.  
  
TRINITY: Oh. Let's go then!  
  
TANK: What do you need?  
  
NEO: Lots of guns.  
  
TANK'S VOICE: Here!  
  
NEO: Cool.  
  
SHORT LIVED SECURITY GUARD: Please remove any keys, loose change -- What the --  
  
OTHERS: Yaaaa! Get the terrorists!  
  
NEO & TRINITY: *BLAM BLAM POW BANG etc*  
  
TRINITY: Here's an elevator bomb. Now that it's loaded we have to go up the cable!  
  
NEO: There is no spoon.  
  
. . . m e a n w h i l e . . .  
  
AGENT SMITH: Morpheus, I want those codes! This planet stinks! Literally!  
  
MORPHEUS: Whaaaa... *snore*  
  
AGENT BROWN: What are you doing?  
  
AGENT JOHNSON: He doesn't know.  
  
AGENT SMITH: Know what?  
  
AGENT BROWN: Well, apparently, some terrorists are trying to smuggle Morpheus here a "Get out of jail free" card. And they're shooting people. With guns.  
  
AGENT SMITH: Guns? That looks more like a helicopte--  
  
HELICOPTER: *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*  
  
GLASS: *break*  
  
NEO: Morpheus! Jump! Before you get shot! ... Or after ... Oh no! He's not going to make it! *He jumps off the helicopter with a bungee cord around his waist, and grabs Morpheus in mid fall* Gotcha!  
  
TRINITY: The helicopter's leaking gas! I'm going to crash into a building!  
  
NEO: Drop me off and I'll save you somehow!  
  
TRINITY: Hold my bungee cord!  
  
NEO: Hurray! Everyone is saved! Let's go back!  
  
TRINITY & MORPHEUS: Okay!  
  
TANK'S VOICE: Hi Morpheus! *He beams Morpheus aboard the Nebuchadnezzar*  
  
TANK'S VOICE: Okay, I can only take two of you because Neo has to die.  
  
TRINITY: Wait, what-- *She is also beamed aboard*  
  
AGENT SMITH: Hello Mr. Anderson!  
  
NEO: Wait a minute...  
  
TANK'S VOICE: Run!  
  
NEO: Which way?  
  
TANK'S VOICE: The door! To your left! ... Other left!  
  
PHONE CLOSE BY: *RING RING RING*  
  
NEO: Almost to the phone. I'll just open this door and --  
  
AGENT SMITH: Ha ha ha. *Shoots Neo a few times, enjoys this, shoots some more* Now you are dead, Mr. Anderson!  
  
TANK: Darn it! He's dead!  
  
TRINITY: Neo! You have to live! The Oracle told me I would fall in love with the One, and the One is invincible, and I love you! *kiss* So you must be the One, and you can't die! Also, we need some help back here with the Sentinels which are presently trying to kill us, if you don't mind.  
  
TANK: Give it up Trinity, he's dead!  
  
NEO: Hey, I'm not dead! *Runs into Agent Smith -- literally -- and blows him up. Other agents squeal and run away. Neo picks up the phone...*  
  
TRINITY: I knew you were alive!  
  
TANK: I knew it all along too! *Trinity stares at him, Morpheus turns on the EMP just before a sentinel would have squished Tank's head*  
  
NEO: I love you guys!  
  
MORPHEUS: Now aren't you glad I told you about how the world wasn't real?  
  
NEO: Yeah. Sure. I especially love you, Trinity!  
  
. . . l a t e r . . .  
  
NEO: Hello agents! I am now going to rid the earth of you once and for all! How do you like that, ay? Ha ha ha ha ha! *Hangs up phone, looks around, and flies off* Woo!  
  
---  
  
T H E * E N D 


End file.
